Goodbye 20s!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I started writing this post a few months ago and I’ve had a little time to think about it and decided that I should pay tribute to my mom. As I learn more and more about birth and becoming a mom I have a stronger understanding and bigger appreciation for that entire process. So here’s to my mom. HAPPY BIRTH ANNIVERSARY!!🎉🎊 Giving birth is such an accomplishment and blessing AND choosing to be the best parent you can possibly be is also a conscience decision that not all women make. I am forever grateful for you, mommy. You have been a role model, given me tough love (that I can now appreciate😉), supported all of my interests, encouraged me to explore anything I am curious about and my BIGGEST FAN. The woman I am today is a reflection of the queendom that is my mom. Of course there has been help along the way but if you were not who you are I would not be who I am. So this year for my birthday I am celebrating you!!

Below is the post I started a while back and of course all that is below would not have been possible if it weren’t for my mom:

I’ve been thinking about life as I wrap up a new decade and I’ve come up with a little list of some of my accomplishments. Yeah I think it’s ok to toot your own horn on a birthday.

-Received a Bachelors Degree
-Earned a Master’s Degree and Certificate
-Served in the Peace Corps
-Lived in Africa
-Addressed some internal issues
-got Married
-Ran an Organization (well the regional office)
-Started working on Lamaze Certification
-found myself…lost myself…working on finding myself again
-Boosted credit score
-Made a few people smile
BEST OF ALL
-Became a mom of 2 beautiful boys

Through loads of soul searching and learning how to reflect and accept my flaws I’ve become a stronger person. Starting my new decade living with family and working on my marriage was not an ideal situation, however I believe it was a necessary step to get my family on the right foot for a brighter future.

By the time I reached 30 I was hoping to be a home owner and be working for myself. That hasn’t happened but I do feel like I’m on the right path to make it happen within this decade. I just want to be sure that the next few years are spent setting up a life for my family that will allow my children to be stable in their early adult lives. I’d love to be able to pass on a family home or 2, a business, and savings for college.

So here’s to 2 decades done✔️. I must thank my family for getting me to where I am. For expecting nothing but the best and making sure I was aware of this expectation from the beginning. Although I know there is always work to be done on self, I feel like I’m in a great place to be starting a new decade. New city, new job, new mentors, new goals….

Cheers to a new decade of ups…downs, twists…turns, parenting…mentoring, learning…sharing!!!

That’s Productive…POW!

Since we’ve made this transition we’ve all had waaaayyyyy more screen time then we’ve had in the last 3 years. Going from a house with on 14/15 channels and one TV to a house with 1000 channels and multiple TVs have definitely taken things in a different direction. I spend more time surfing channels than actually watching shows. Self-control is so important😏!

Plus there’s all the reality poison TV eehem that I’ve started watching again. I can feel the difference.

Before this overindulgence in TV, there was a lot more reading and planning and exploring AND sleeping. My sistercousin is back from her study abroad and just the other night she stood in front of me and said “what are you about to do”; my response “find something to watch on TV” and she just goes “oh read a book…that’s productive…pow” and she made me smile. So, although I didn’t turn the TV off I made a list of things to accomplish and I got at it. Read a little, organized some clothes, looked up some information, worked on my 3 year plan… yeah less focus on the darn tube was very productive!

Thanks sistercuz…POW back atcha!!!💥

And So We Weaned

When I was pregnant with Bean I knew I wanted to breastfeed for at least a year. The more I learned the more I wanted to feed so I said I’ll go for 2 years. When he finally hit 2 years old I decided to just go with the flow and see how things played out. Well I didn’t think that stopping the would be so emotional, especially when he’s a toddler!!

About a month ago I started to experience a lot of pain when Bean nursed. For some reason we were not able to get positioned right or something and his teeth seemed to be digging into my nipple no matter what we tried. Our breastfeeding relationship was no longer working. For a while I just felt bad because I actually enjoyed breastfeeding my toddler, especially when my boys got to bond at the breast on many occasions. But when the pain became unbearable I knew we had to make a change. He was nursing mostly at night ad that was the most challenging especially since I was also nursing Sprout as well. So we tried to wean, I would talk to him about stopping and try to redirect his attention or offer a message or explain that the milk was for the baby or that it was painful. At times some of this worked but for the most part it didn’t. So I hit up a few of my friends and a couple of mommy groups of Facebook and I was lead to Dr. Jay Gordon’s night weaning method.

Ok here’s a link to what I followed for the most part. http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
But I added a couple of dinner conversations with Bean (27m) about being a big brother and not wanting to hurt mom. So I would put Sprout (3mo) to sleep first and make sure I could give Bean my undivided attention. Thank God Sprout sleeps through anything. I did the first 3 nights exactly as suggested. And his cries were not as bad as I was expecting (I probably would have just given in had they been). Following that I have not been nursing Bean to sleep (only because it hurts) instead we pray, read, count toes in bed and just cuddle. There have been fewer tantrums than I expected and I usually just rub his legs or arms and tell him I love him and remind him that the milk is for baby brother. When he wakes up instead of picking him up I just cuddle him and talk gently and he rolls over most of the time. I’ve also allowed him to cuddle with his brother which I was scared to do at first but it works for us.

To my surprise I felt a little guilty for not being able to bear feeding him when he was ready for a nap or bed. I would just get through the times he needed to nurse because he was hurt or not feeling well. I had to appreciate that nursing is indeed a relationship between mother and child and sometimes these relationships have to change 😒. Now Bean is ok with helping me get Sprout latched on and tells me when baby brother needs “best (his version of breast) milk”. It’s been almost 2 months now and Bean’s only asked to nurse twice after falling and of course I gave in and he was good after about 2minutes.